Saturday, November 9, 2019

Be Gentle With Yourself

"Be gentle with yourself. 
You are a child of the universe 
no less than the trees and the stars; 
you have a right to be here." 

-- Max Ehrmann 




Many times when we are trying to change something and continually failing to follow through, we may beat up on ourselves for failing one more time, renewing our vow to break through tomorrow. Until tomorrow arrives. In that new present, our current passion, habitual thought, or habitual activity seems so much more comfortable and enticing. Then, we get mad at ourselves again, reiterate our vow to change, and that process may go on for years.

Here's something that puts a different spin on all of that. It is this: stop beating myself up and start loving myself unconditionally. Beating myself up just reinforces a low self-image, imagining that I'm so weak that I cannot do as I want to do, and I do what is habitual instead. We are, after all, very habitual creatures. Habit is a benefit in our lives and it also can be a detriment. Nonetheless, beating myself is the worst thing I can do. It is not helpful, and it is not loving at all.

You can see this in the world where you're out and about and you hear a parent berating their child, yelling impatiently at them, telling them what they are doing wrong. You can hear it on the sidelines at ball games with angry coaches thinking that their loud angry voice is of benefit to the players. You can even find it in the workplace with angry bosses or supervisors yelling at their workers, and finally, we can hear it at home with our spouses from time to time. None of it helps.

No, none of it helps because it is reinforcing the pattern that is supposedly desiring of change. In other words, rather than leading us away from the thing we say we no longer want to do, or the behavior that is somehow "wrong," the verbal abuse simply makes that stand out more. It is the exact same thing within ourselves. Beating ourselves up only reinforces the so-called failing.

Imagine you're God and that you are a loving God. You invented unconditional love. You promote it. Now imagine looking at the failing you. You've failed to follow through or change one more time. As a loving God, are you going to lay on some guilt and anger, or will you lavish total peace with your unconditional love? What would that unconditional love feel like? It would feel pretty dang good, don't you think? You might even begin feeling good about yourself, feeling your value, loving your life, blessing your actions as okay.

Now, if you really wanted to change, as opposed to thinking you need to change, you have a far better chance at fulfillment with the love than with the chiding. Wouldn't you agree?

Next time you want to change something, whether it is to begin something and move in a new direction, or to let loose of something no longer desired, feel the love. You can do the pretending I'm God thing if you need a little more authority, but I am certain that a loving God taught us how to love ourselves. It's part of our DNA. We simply forget from time to time. Be gentle and loving with yourself. You're the only you that exists. You're special. A loving God created you. Take joy in that. More love in the world begins with us loving ourselves.


Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Why working from home is good for business | The Way We Work, a TED series


As the popularity of remote working continues to spread, workers today can collaborate across cities, countries and even multiple time zones. How does this change office dynamics? And how can we make sure that all employees, both at headquarters and at home, feel connected? Matt Mullenweg, the co-founder of Wordpress and CEO of Automattic (which has a 100 percent distributed workforce), shares his secrets.

Sunday, November 3, 2019

Kindness Is Contagious

"When you have the choice 
to be right, or to be kind, 
choose to be kind." 

-- Wayne Dyer 



Here are a few good questions: How often does being right actually serve you? How often does being right serve those you love? How often does being right serve you at work? How often does being right serve you with your children? How often does being right serve you with your spouse? How often does being right serve those around you?

How about this? How often does being kind actually serve you? How often does being kind serve those you love? How often does being kind serve you at work? How often does being kind serve you with your children? How often does being kind serve you with your spouse? How often does being kind serve those around you?

Kindness is contagious!

Thursday, October 31, 2019

Reaching Out To Help Grow Your Business


Group training is one of the areas that I specialize in. By engaging in regular, structured conversation with a "client": an individual or team who is within a business, profit or nonprofit organization, institution or government and who is the recipient of business coaching a business coach can take your business from where it is now to where the business owner wants it to be.

A business coach will assist and guide the business owner in running a business by helping them clarify the vision of their business and how it fits in with their personal goals.

Call Jennifer House to discuss your business needs at 530.310.6123

Monday, October 28, 2019

How to speak so that people want to listen | Julian Treasure


Have you ever felt like you're talking, but nobody is listening? Here's Julian Treasure to help you fix that. As the sound expert demonstrates some useful vocal exercises and shares tips on how to speak with empathy, he offers his vision for a sonorous world of listening and understanding.

Friday, October 25, 2019

Acknowledge Your Positive Past

"Acknowledge Your Positive Past:
Because the brain more easily remembers events that were
accompanied by strong emotions, most people underestimate
and underappreciate the number of successes they've had
in relation to the number of failures, they've had.
One of the ways to counteract this phenomenon is
to consciously focus on and celebrate your successes."

-- Jack Canfield, Principle 26 
of The Success Principles




Jack Canfield's book, The Success Principles, contains 64 principles to success and all are short enough to read in a few minutes, come back any time, or just open the book where ever you might like and pull out a gem of wisdom.

This principle is great because he says that we are trained in this pattern early with our parents and in grade school. A lot of people get upset if we don't perform properly and punish us or yell at us to help guide us to do better, but what really happens is we become more emotionally involved in the failures and that makes it seem sometimes that we have more failure than success.

Jack says, "the sad truth is that we all have many more victories than failures--it's just that we set the bar too high for what we call a success." He goes on to talk about a participant in one of his programs who told that he left Iran to Germany where he learned the language and became an auto mechanic. Then he had the opportunity to come to America, learn English and was learning how to be a welder, but he thought he was not a success. Come to find out, his idea of success was having a home in Beverly Hills and driving a luxury car! Yet, to many others his life was an ongoing massive success.

Jack talks about creating a Victory Log, which can be a fancy leather-bound diary or an inexpensive common spiral notebook. It is just a tool where you record your successes or victories regardless of the size of them to later show how many you have. Success needs to be reinforced.

He adds to display your success on a success wall and look at it often. Make it so that your successes, however minor they may seem initially get the attention they deserve, or rather, you deserve, to create in each of us a stronger and more risk-taking self-esteem. It's not about bragging, it's about putting things in perspective. We may as well let our successes lead the way.